I’ve had, by far, some of the most interesting relationships of my life as Suzannah.  They’ve taught me a lot about the role sex plays in people’s lives.  John said he imagines my role is something like that of a therapist.  In many cases this is true.  But instead of talking about their problems or issues, clients are often playing out the scenarios they wish they had in real life.  There was the professor who had never been popular with women and wanted to live the Ideal Boyfriend persona.  There was the hopeless romantic who wanted to recreate the perfect marriage.  I also feel as though a lot of fetish play is about the expressing of subconscious drives.

I’ve found myself on the defensive a bit of late as to why I get into these complex ‘relationships’.  The answer is, because I find it interesting.  I know that the last thing most people want in their lives is unnecessary intimacy.  For me, it’s the opposite.  Relating on a superficial level is hard work for me.   My most recent correspondent is young, single, successful, incredibly smart across many spectrums and highly emotionally coherent.  He’s one of the few people I’ve met who’s left me with more questions than answers after every conversation. He shared with me some of the questions that came up when he discussed our liaisons with some friends over dinner:

It was extremely interesting because I found myself offering public explanations that I had never considered privately.  We marched quickly through the preliminary curiosity:

Yes, it is sexual (but not overtly so).

Yes, she comes at a high cost.  Damn, that’s pretty expensive.  What else does she offer at higher price levels?

Why this now?  There is E and J and B; they all secretly fantasize about being your wife, why are you paying anyone?  M would be crushed if she knew that you were not willing to give her what you are willing to give a…….

What does paid sex feel like?…..

What do you mean you write to her.  What do you write?  Some of us have known you for half our lives and we really don’t know what makes you tick.

Is she a game?

Actually, I am beginning to wonder whether I am a game to him.  He is systematically and successfully seducing me.  I like it.  It’s usually the other way around.  It’s probably going to hurt when it ends.

 I like this new, weekly comic by Modern Hooker at Carnal Nation…

I thought I’d write some of thoughts on my beginnings in escorting and my approach to it.  As a teenager, I was intrigued by stories of the Mayflower Madam and Heidi Fleiss.  As someone who’s always sought out adventure and sophistication and enjoyed privately flouting convention, their lives seemed like fun to me.

Several years ago, newly single and not inspired by dating in New York City, I decided to find out for myself if the reality of high-end companionship matched the fantasy. I approached a couple of high-end agencies in the city and decided on one.

It was a great way to become initiated.  I was free to set my own limits and schedule and made a point of not being available too often.  I quickly realized that majority of demand was for hourly appointments and playboy-style sexy, something I couldn’t do even if I wanted to.  I did meet some great clients who were actually looking for someone seductive who they could talk to.

Some clients are very concerned about their personal information and go to great lengths to avoid revealing it. One even registered a ficticious person to his hotel room and made a booking with the agency under the psuednym. The agency had screening procedures but were not as rigorous as they claimed to be.

While agencies can provide more opportunities, they don’t necessarily look out for the best interests of their entertainers, they’re mainly interested in how much money you’re making for them.  It wasn’t as though I had a network of like-minded friends as I wasn’t given access to the details of other escorts, except on appointments where we were booked together.  I made it a point to keep to myself anyway as I never wanted this business to take over my life.

I’ve always taken client confidentiality very seriously.  Now that I screen clients myself and require their information for my own safety, I’m aware that they have to trust that I’ll be discreet.  It’s something I think if as a prosfessional and ethical duty.  I’ve considered the fact that writing a public blog could concern those who don’t want their activities to appear in print, no matter how anonymously.  I do respect that.  Mostly I’ve found that people like it, in fact they find it a turn on.  I definitely enjoy writing about my escapades, it gives me the chance to reflect on some great experiences and a few pretty crazy ones too.

Tracy Clark-Flory reports on a recent initiative on prostitution by the Dutch…

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/10/10/prostitution/