I’m in lust and I’ve been a little lost for anything cohesive and substantial to say, so I thought I’d try some visual communication…  

 I like this new, weekly comic by Modern Hooker at Carnal Nation…

I recently met up with a client I haven’t seen in quite some time. We’ve known each other for a couple of years and he’s become a friend of sorts. A friend in the way that if I were ever in a bind, stranded in the Golden Triangle with a Burmese militiaman attempting to take me as his wife by force, for example, I could call said client and he’d sort it out. No questions asked. My personal James Bond if you will. Beyond the caretaker qualities, he’s someone I admire and connect with. He’s open and expressive and someone who gets things done.

I take it as a part of my job–and I take my job pretty seriously–that remaining emotionally available and at the same time controlled, is essential. It’s a highly interpersonal situation, obviously. Maintaining my own balance and sanity is my first priority, at the same time as being open and basically myself. A contradiction?  No, just a fine line. And when a more personal element begins to emerge, as has occasionally been the case, that line grows even finer.

My James Bond, for example. I can’t actually call him for a chat whenever I feel like it. We meet when he’s available, which is rare. My access to him is limited. This is something I probably wouldn’t accept in my private life but now that I’ve began to meet him outside a purely professional context, it sort of is my personal life. I like it that I’m forced to redefine my boundaries, but it’s not easy.

I also have just a couple of other long-time friends who were once clients. Now they’re people I call to say hi, meet for a drink or send a Happy Birthday to.  They’re people I can relax around, knowing I can be completely frank about every aspect of my life.

Although there have been clients I’ve adored, lusted after, cared for and fantasized about dating, I’ve never fallen in love with one. That could change, but he’d have to be a pretty rare combination of smart, sexually open, liberal-minded, considerate, disciplined and sweet, with a refined sense of perversity.

I particularly enjoy the diversity of people I meet through this medium and the circumstances that evolve according to each person’s inclinations.  For those who like to construct scenarios, games, enact fantasies or engage in intellectual challenges, I’m a willing and (I hope) worthy companion.  I thought I’d share part of an essay written by one such libertine as part of a series of ongoing exchanges.  He addresses the question: How do prostitutes enhance society in general?

Prostitutes are supremely permeable, and not only in the literal sense that they are physically penetrated as a matter of course (although the openness of the prostitute to being physically penetrated by many, both known and strangers, is another source of her power). The prostitute  mingles with both the locals and the foreigners, and she thereby provides–albeit at one remove and unwittingly to them– connection and communication between them. We learn from our whores, because like all good merchants, they are cross-cultural and adaptable. 

Prostitutes can remind us not to make assumptions about people…You see that nerdy medical professional in the blue scrubs? She is one of the best cocksuckers and most enthusiastic semen-drinkers in New York.  And that  grad student-y, librarianesque redhead?  She loves come facials, but only if you remember to bring a camera to photograph the event.  And that very professional-looking, fair-skinned beauty? There’s a whole different side to her– get her comfortable with the surroundings, the client,  and the concept, and she’ll ensure her client’s pleasures to the point of being gagged, nosehooked and anally plugged and stretched. 

And finally, the best prostitutes remind us that sex can and should be– great FUN.  By detaching sex from many of the problems and issues with which “civilian” relationships are fraught, the prostitute (and her client if he is man enough) can create physical and mental space for for pure play, of the kind  that we generally are not able to experience once we leave childhood behind –and that leaves us all feeling younger, newer and better. 

Suzannah, I have very much enjoyed composing this…It has both excited me and has made me think– because like a lot of men, I  ask myself “why do I do this ?” (there are of course the obvious reasons, but those are self-evident and of no real interest).  This assignment has helped me learn the answer to that question–at least for me.