I’m quite fascinated by the juxtaposition in Japanese culture of social restraint and sexual extremes. I’ve heard of fetish bars where hostesses eat pungent foods in order to produce flavorful excrement for their patron’s consumption.  There are clubs in Tokyo where couples may go and have sex on a stage under the gaze of other patrons.  It’s done, as are most Japanese, with reserve and reverence for the participants and the group.  

During the 1970s, Kohei Yoshiyuki captured on camera incidents of voyeurs watching couples have sex in public parks.  Because it was dark, the couples didn’t know they were being watched.  Yoshiyuki exposes them and a the strange phenomenon they embodied.

Sex in the Park and its Sneaky Spectators

My parents claim that they were virgins when they married. Most people I’ve told that to laugh and say their parents tried to tell them the same thing, or they imply I’m being naive if I believe it. I’d probably prefer if it wasn’t true but I’m pretty sure it is. Anyway, there was no free love going on. Actually I remember being told that if I slept around no man would want to marry me. Perhaps that’s true, I’m still not married 

I was the last of my group of school friends to ‘lose my innocence’. The idea that it should be a transformational experience and what I was ‘giving away’ was something sacred had become ridiculous in my mind by the time I was sixteen. I decided to go out and find someone experienced who could show me everything I wanted to know in a short period of time. I settled on a neighbor, ten years older, in the same self-assured, masculine mold I’ve sought out ever since. I would see him occasionally at parties or in the neighborhood and began trying to attract his attention. The neighbor eventually noticed and we ended up at his place, naked. He set about fucking me in every position I would need to know for the foreseeable future.

I spent quite a few evenings at his place over the next few years, although we weren’t in any kind of relationship. If we happened to see each other out socially, or if I decided to knock on his door in the middle of the night, we would have sex. I loved it, he was a great lover and I think taught me how to be sensual. I liked the feeling of being completely spent by the time I left him. I remember a time that we were playing in bed when I noticed a face in the darkness, staring at me from the doorway. It was his flatmate, who I think my neighbour had encouraged to join us. I wasn’t interested at the time but perhaps I should have taken the opportunity, as it’s been a longtime fantasy of mine to sleep with several men at once.

It’s interesting for me to look back and remember this sort of casual encounter as being something I did the first chance I could, instinctively.

I was really sitting on the fence at times past in terms of accepting myself as a sexual being, one who uses that aspect of herself in a professional context, especially.   I would often wait for my partner to take the lead, to essentially give me permission to explore what I like and be open about it.

There came a point when I just decided to take the hand-brake off and to not be afraid of it. I think a few pretty intense life events really forced me to define myself and to realize that it’s pointless to waste time pretending. This approach seems to have worked very well so far and has brought all kinds of unexpected pleasures my way.

I was reminded of how things have changed after a meeting with someone new, just recently. We’d spent a few steamy hours together after lunch and it turned out he was a particularly talented playmate as well as a good laugh. He wasn’t one to hold back and it only encouraged me all the more. I left our meeting with a huge grin that stayed with me for the rest of the day.

That night, I received an incredibly sweet email, thanking me for a great time. His tone was rather formal, even more than mine, which I thought funny given that he had completely debauched me just hours earlier. I told him so.

I thought I was debauched by you, he said. I smiled and realized my inhibitions are truly a thing of the past. I’m still polite, composed, presentable. Just much less appropriate in the bedroom.

Tracy Clark-Flory reports on a recent initiative on prostitution by the Dutch…

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/10/10/prostitution/

Clients are often businessmen but there have also been doctors, lawyers, a writer, a rock star, a few actors, scientists… There’s a period of seduction, where we email and chat and perhaps meet over drinks. It’s usually pretty apparent after a few email or phone conversations if we’re going to be compatible, so I’m rarely faced with meeting someone I’m not going to like. I think they feel the same way. The arrangements are usually ongoing, rather than one-off meetings, so there’s a need to establish some sort of connection. Connection doesn’t mean obligation and that’s a big part of it. Sometimes people I’ve known for a while just fade away, or abruptly stop calling. I don’t take it personally and never pursue it but I won’t say it isn’t difficult. Others stay in touch long after we’ve stopped seeing each other romantically.

Dates really vary in terms of what we do. For a lot of people it’s about the company as much as anything else. Many clients have almost no free time where they can really be themselves. They want to talk and relax and be listened to. I’ve become a running partner to one friend who likes to dash through Central Park when he’s in town before heading back to the hotel all hot and sweaty. I’m always thrilled to find a fellow gambler and am making pretty good progress on the number of countries I’ve played black jack in around the world. As an art lover, I’ve taken friends on personal gallery tours. Others don’t want any of that, which is fine too. I find the variety my sensual life has taken on to be fascinating and exciting. I want more of it.